biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Watching her eat just hurts me
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
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