Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
