ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Randomize
