4 words: hood of his car
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
