Heybabeimwearingurpanties
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Someone signed my nipple.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
