My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
