I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
