Quick, to the slutcave!
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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