so explain again why im purple
no
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Don't EVER smell your tampon
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
