R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Randomize
