how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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