That's intense
You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
