I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Randomize
