playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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