We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
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