so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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