i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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