After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Just puked most of my soul out..
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
