I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
im holly from the hills drunk
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
