How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
