you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Randomize
