if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
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