I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
