6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Randomize
