Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
