u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
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