I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Randomize
