and she was petting her beer can
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
We had sex on a dog bed..
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
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