Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize
