btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
