Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
