I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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