I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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