quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
