Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
