Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Randomize
