that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
