I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Randomize
