My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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