Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Randomize
