I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Randomize
