I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
