he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Randomize
