I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
ttyl tear gas
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
