He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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