Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
