It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
Terrible idea I love it
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
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