I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
My breasts were aching with rage.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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