And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
Randomize
