I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
