Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
