I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Randomize
