Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
